To Do-ula, or not to Do-ula...that was our question.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a doula as:  “a woman experienced in childbirth who provides advice, information, emotional support, and physical comfort to a mother before, during, and just after childbirth.”  There are 2 important points that I think M-W missed from their definition:

1. The mother is not the only party receiving the benefits of the doula.  The partner receives as much support as the mother.

2.  And, more importantly, a doula is an advocate for you when you are giving birth. 

We chose to have a doula join our childbirth journey, and let me make one thing clear up front:  It was the BEST decision we could have ever made, and I had NO IDEA what it meant to have a doula.  In fact, in the beginning, I wasn’t certain I really wanted a stranger sharing in our moment.

It seems that many people are like I was, having ZERO clue about everything involved with having a doula…or they think it’s “granola” and “earthy.”  The idea of having someone in the delivery room that isn’t family or doctor is confusing…but it’s what a doula DOES that makes all the difference in the world.

When we began our discussions about having a baby, Kerry knew from the start that she wanted to have a natural birth – going against the 80%+ of women today that elect to have an epidural.  It doesn’t win her accolades or medals, but that’s not why she was choosing this path.  Although, in my eyes, the strength it takes to work for a natural delivery is one of rock star proportions – and Kerry rocked it. 

Alas, I digress…

Once we knew what kind of delivery we wanted, we started discussing how best to be successful.  The option of a doula was one of our first discussions, and as the birth partner, I felt it was really important that Kerry made the ultimate decision on yay versus nay.  I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I was intimidated by the prospect of having someone else be the “support” during delivery, but if I had any fears going into delivery – they were gone in the blink of an eye.

From the moment we met with Nikki we felt more at ease about the outcome of our decision. Having a doula didn’t just mean support during delivery, it meant support leading up to the big day, and post-partum support for ALL of us.  I had no idea how all encompassing this “service” would be for us, but it turned out to be one of the best yes decisions we have made.

We attended a couple of classes that Well Born Baby offers and got to know the doulas that would be available when Kerry went into labor. This afforded us a comfort that carried over to delivery day, and we were so blessed that Nikki was on call when Liam decided to make his grand entrance.

Nikki sat on the phone with me and texted with me as I updated her on Kerry’s laboring process at home. While we started labor around 1am, I waited until around 4:30 to call the labor line….and we had support from that moment forward! She helped us decided when the best time came for us to head to the hospital, and promised to see us there!

We entered the hospital with a typed birth plan and goodies for the nurses, who would also be supporting us for an unknown amount of time.   Nikki met us shortly after we were settled into labor and delivery, and her soothing voice and calming aura centered us both from the moment she smiled at us and told us how excited she was to be there.  We knew we were in good hands.  From massage therapy, to breathing exercises, to verbal encouragement, to reminders to eat/drink – our doula was the leveling force in the room that helped us make it through the 8 ½ hours we had to wait for Liam to make his arrival.  Most importantly, when the doctor/nurses made any recommendations, Nikki was there to break down the details of what it all meant for us – and help us make the appropriate decisions, always having our wants/needs and best interests in mind.

Once Liam arrived, Nikki hung around to make sure we had everything we needed to get settled-in – and promised to see us after we came home.  It was about a week after we came home that she came to see us and hold/love on our little man of the house.   We now had a friend in our life, not just a doula.   We now have someone that our son will know and love, who helped us help him make a comfortable entrance into this world.  

I could go on for days, listing all of the reasons why we made the right decision, but the reality is this:  we made the right decision for us.  In the end, the support and comfort we experienced with having a doula made our birth experience a wonderful and lasting experience. 

Would we have a doula again in the future, if we elected to have a second child?  ABSOLUTELY…and we would encourage others to consider the same path!