Adoption Day

There are many events in life that ensure a date is embedded in our minds for eternity.

Some, if not most, of these events are tragic: 

9/11/01. 

8/22/12 (the day my grandmother passed away)

Yet, some events are beyond amazing: 

11/11/12 (the day I got married) 

4/30/15 (the day my son was born)

And now, for me, 5/26/16

May 26, 2016 will be a day I will never forget.  This is the day I became a LEGALLY recognized parent to Liam.  May 26, 2016 was adoption day! 

It’s completely ridiculous that this day exists in my world, but it is my reality and I'm embracing it.

For perspective...

My wife and I married in 2012.  (If you don’t know me, or didn’t know this fact about me…SURPRISE!!)  We knew we wanted to have a family, but we enjoyed a couple of years of marriage before heading down the road to pregnancy.

We found out in August of 2014 that we were pregnant.  (Since this is about Adoption Day, I don’t want to go into details around the pregnancy journey – but feel free to ask us anytime and we’re happy to share) 

Happy.

Scared.

Excited!

Each one of these feelings consumed us when we realized we were going to be parents.  It wasn’t until a few months into the pregnancy that my excitement turned more to fear.

Aside from the normal fears for first time parents, I began to worry about acceptance and rights.  I firmly believe that learning acceptance, tolerance, and love starts at home – and Liam will know each of these – but rights are a different ballgame.

What most people don’t know, or understand, is that I worried day and night that I would be somewhere with Liam where something would happen and the hospital staff wouldn’t allow me to see him because I’m not his “mother.”  Because, you know, blood defines whether or not you’re a parent. 

But this was my reality…regardless of the fact that my name is on Liam’s birth certificate as the second parent. 

So, while Kerry was pregnant I started doing as much research as I could on second parent adoption.  I wanted to do everything to protect my tie to Liam, regardless of the fact that I would ALWAYS be one of his moms, no matter anyone would say. I had no idea how much I would go through during this process.

✓ FBI background checks.

✓ Child Abuse Clearance in Kentucky.

✓ Child Abuse Clearance in Pennsylvania.

✓ A letter from my doctor stating I’m good health to adopt…the son who is already mine.

✓ A letter from Liam’s doctor stating he is healthy for adoption.

✓ A letter from our clinic confirming that the donor was anonymous and had no rights to Liam.

✓ An attorney to file all of our documentation on our behalf, and attend our court appearance with us.

✓ A small chunk of money…worth every penny spent!!

I was lucky to be exempt of a home visit since Kerry and I were already married prior to Liam’s birth.

I was attempting to get my clearance from Kentucky when the Kim Davis debacle was happening – and this just added to my anxiety. I struggled to get them to understand that I wasn’t adopting Liam through an agency, but had attorney representation for the process. Nobody could understand how this was possible, even with me explaining I was married to a woman.  I had to lean on my attorney to clear it up…and get the process back on track.

This took way too long, and it seemed even longer since I was feeling ridiculous going through this at all.

Yet, with all of the anxiety, nerves, and fears – May 26, 2016 arrived, and I listened with tears in my eyes as the judge sat before me asking if I understood what her ruling would mean for me.  I did know what it would mean for me….I was LIVING what it would mean for me….and her signature on my adoption decree would just provide the legal fencing necessary to protect him even more.

“Mrs. Spicer, do you understand that this ruling will mean that you are legally entitled to worry when he is 16 and out driving past his curfew.”

“I sure do, Judge!”

As soon as I stepped into that courtroom on May 26th, my eyes filled with tears and I could feel my throat trying to close. I was completely beside myself…engulfed in emotion and clothed in love. 

I walked out in the exact same manner!

Liam Maverick Spicer.

 

My son.  My heart.  And now…My heir.