Christian - what's in the name...

The Characteristics of a Christian?

 A good friend of mine recently posted a note on a social networking site asking what characteristics one would attribute to a Christian…not what being a Christian “means,” per se, but what words would you use to describe a Christian?

 I immediately jumped on the opportunity to respond and share my two cents, for whatever they were worth. I was enamored with the response she received and I instantly knew I needed to re-visit the blog I intended to write so long ago.

 Before I get into my thoughts, here is a general summary of the responses she received:

• Faithful 
• Honest 
• Kind 
• Giving 
• Unselfish 
• Love 
• Joyful 
• Peaceful 
• Patient 
• Gentleness 
• Self-control 
• Forgiving 
• Love 
• Open 
• Honest 
• Non-judgmental 
• Love 
• Unconditional love 
• Humble 
• Compassionate 

 There a few repeats on the list, but I left them in there because I feel it important to show what characteristics come to mind most often...at least during this exercise. 

 Love. 

 In my mind, you cannot have “Christian” without “love.” 

 I would want the characteristic of “Non-Judgmental” to be attached to the term, but more often than not, it is the first thing I hear when openly discussing what it means to be a Christian. I am told that most Christians are judgmental and hypocritical. Well, that’s probably true. But in reality, aren’t most PEOPLE judgmental and hypocritical? We’ll come back to this… 

 When I was in college I went through a period in time where I didn’t want to be labeled by the church I chose to attend. I didn’t want to be called Baptist because there is a stereotype that follows that label. I wanted to be called a Believer. I STILL like that terminology really because there are NUMEROUS things I can disagree on concerning the Baptist church, or any church for that matter. The thing I DO NOT find fault in: believing in God, his son, my salvation, and LOVE. The kind of love that encompasses all of the traits/characteristics I listed at the beginning of this post. 

 Now, if we are honest with ourselves, we all probably know quite a few people that have so many of the characteristics I’m talking about, but that doesn’t make them a “Christian.” There is a string attached here that assumes a Christian is a Christ-believer. But on the flip-side, how many “Christians” do you know that possess some of these traits in their exact opposite? And we wonder why church and Christianity have a stigma attached to them… 

 There must be a point in our lives, regardless of our spiritual beliefs, when we must truly decide what kind of person we want to be at the core. As a Christian, I know that I strive to hold myself accountable for the way I live my life and the manner in which I treat those around me. I want people to associate me with the characteristics I’ve described, but not just that…I want them to ACCEPT me in spite of the ones I may not always exhibit. 

 I think this is always a touchy subject to tackle because people will generally become defensive at the thought that someone might be questioning them, or their beliefs. It’s not a personal attack most times, but it can snowball into an ugly confrontation pretty quickly when you have one person wanting to defend themselves, and another trying to explain the “why” around their questions. The level of debate and conversation in this country has diminished to most people feeling a personal attack and mounting an offensive comeback on almost everything. It’s sad really. 

 I have always invited anyone to feel free to talk with me about their spiritual/religious beliefs because we all stand to learn something new all the time. And in reality, I bring something different to the table of conversation than many Christians: a same-sex spouse…and I have had some “Christians” pull away from me because of that factor. That being said, I take a look back at the list of characteristics now and find that some of those seem to disappear completely in some “Christians” when they come to know everything about me: 

Unconditional Love. 

Non-Judgment. 

Kindness. 

Compassion. 

 Again, I am always open to discussion, but the moment it turns personal and disrespectful, I will kindly discontinue the conversation. There is a difference between discussion and judgment; we ALL need to remember that – regardless of the topic. 

 I guess the reality in this question could be two-fold: yes, there are many characteristics that we associate with the word “Christian,” but it’s also important to recognize their importance when thinking about what it means actually BE a Christian. These characteristics, by no means, account for every trait…but they seem to be the popular vote amongst many. Christian or not, they are also some damn fine traits to strive for as a PERSON!