There are many
events in life that ensure a date is embedded in our minds for eternity.
Some, if not
most, of these events are tragic:
9/11/01.
8/22/12 (the day
my grandmother passed away)
Yet, some events
are beyond amazing:
11/11/12 (the
day I got married)
4/30/15 (the day
my son was born)
And now, for me,
5/26/16
May 26, 2016
will be a day I will never forget. This
is the day I became a LEGALLY recognized parent to Liam. May 26, 2016 was adoption day!
It’s completely ridiculous that this day exists in my world, but it is my reality and I'm embracing it.
For perspective...
My wife and I
married in 2012. (If you don’t know me,
or didn’t know this fact about me…SURPRISE!!)
We knew we wanted to have a family, but we enjoyed a couple of years of
marriage before heading down the road to pregnancy.
We found out in
August of 2014 that we were pregnant.
(Since this is about Adoption Day, I don’t want to go into details
around the pregnancy journey – but feel free to ask us anytime and we’re happy
to share)
Happy.
Scared.
Excited!
Each one of
these feelings consumed us when we realized we were going to be parents. It wasn’t until a few months into the
pregnancy that my excitement turned more to fear.
Aside from the
normal fears for first time parents, I began to worry about acceptance and
rights. I firmly believe that learning
acceptance, tolerance, and love starts at home – and Liam will know each of
these – but rights are a different ballgame.
What most people
don’t know, or understand, is that I worried day and night that I would be
somewhere with Liam where something would happen and the hospital staff
wouldn’t allow me to see him because I’m not his “mother.” Because, you know, blood defines whether or not you’re a parent.
But this was my
reality…regardless of the fact that my name is on Liam’s birth certificate as
the second parent.
So, while Kerry
was pregnant I started doing as much research as I could on second parent
adoption. I wanted to do everything to
protect my tie to Liam, regardless of the fact that I would ALWAYS be one of
his moms, no matter anyone would say. I had no idea how much I would go through
during this process.
✓ FBI background checks.
✓ Child Abuse Clearance in Kentucky.
✓ Child Abuse Clearance in Pennsylvania.
✓ A letter from my doctor stating I’m good
health to adopt…the son who is already mine.
✓ A letter from Liam’s doctor stating he
is healthy for adoption.
✓ A letter from our clinic confirming that
the donor was anonymous and had no rights to Liam.
✓ An attorney to file all of our
documentation on our behalf, and attend our court appearance with us.
✓ A small chunk of money…worth every penny
spent!!
I was lucky to
be exempt of a home visit since Kerry and I were already married prior to
Liam’s birth.
I was attempting
to get my clearance from Kentucky when the Kim Davis debacle was happening –
and this just added to my anxiety. I struggled to get them to understand that I
wasn’t adopting Liam through an agency, but had attorney representation for the
process. Nobody could understand how this was possible, even with me explaining
I was married to a woman. I had to lean
on my attorney to clear it up…and get the process back on track.
This took way
too long, and it seemed even longer since I was feeling ridiculous going
through this at all.
Yet, with all of
the anxiety, nerves, and fears – May 26, 2016 arrived, and I listened with
tears in my eyes as the judge sat before me asking if I understood what her
ruling would mean for me. I did know
what it would mean for me….I was LIVING what it would mean for me….and her
signature on my adoption decree would just provide the legal fencing necessary
to protect him even more.
“Mrs. Spicer, do
you understand that this ruling will mean that you are legally entitled to
worry when he is 16 and out driving past his curfew.”
“I sure do,
Judge!”
As soon as I
stepped into that courtroom on May 26th, my eyes filled with tears and I could
feel my throat trying to close. I was completely beside myself…engulfed in
emotion and clothed in love.
I walked out in
the exact same manner!
Liam Maverick
Spicer.
My son. My heart.
And now…My heir.